Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Not what I expected...

You know how when you're little you're always dreaming... dreaming of becoming older and being a mommy... For me, it was dreaming of being older and rescuing orphans. I was always wanting to play like I was an orphan running away from a horrible orphanage - or better yet, prison camp. I had a happy family and a happy life so I have no idea why I was always dreaming of "escaping", but I was.

As I got older my dreams got a little bigger. I would travel the world and rescue orphans. Ironically, that sort of ended up happening. Well, I didn't "rescue" them exactly. But I did end up living in a 3rd world country for almost 5 months working with orphan teenage girls. It was a pretty sweet deal all around. I got to encourage them to grow in their faith and ended up growing as a person in ways I could have never expected. I ended up getting a pretty sweet guy out of the deal too. ;-* Lucky me.

So the guy and I got married with the intent of growing a massive family. Ended up that we aren't ravid breeders like people expected. Ha. We liked that - being something other than what was expected. One day we did end up finding out that we could procreate and now we have Ellie whom we love a LOT.

And now my husband travels around the United States while I stay home and figure out once again who I am. I'm glad that he doesn't travel more than he does. We're at a very happy place. His being gone a couple days of the week is good for both of us. It allows us to appreciate being together on a deeper level than we once experienced. And I am somewhat forced to come up with creative ways to make the time pass quicker.

I feel like my creative juices are just beginning to come alive and it's been interesting.

I'm pretty sure I'm not a seamstress. I haven't completely given up, but I am pretty disappointed. I come from a family of fabulous seamstresses. My aunts can all make the most beautiful things out of cloth in a matter of no time at all.
My maternal grandmother, the one for whom Ellie is named, was the one who orginally tried to teach me to sew. I'm not sure that she sewed a lot, but she did sew some. She made all of her children baby quilts which we've cherished. She was working on one last baby quilt when her Alzheimers began. It was nearly finished but got set aside and forgotten. After she died my mom got to take it and once she's finished it will be Ellie's. I like that a lot.

My dad's mother is just crazy about sewing. I think the woman could make anything. Every time I think of her house I imagine quilts everywhere. That's probably because there are quilts everywhere. I actually have three from her in my home. They're lovely. My aunts, Janice and Jennifer, are much more articulate seamstresses, I think. I'm pretty sure they follow instructions better than Grandma. And Janice's daughter, Jessalyn, has made the most beautiful clothing for her two daughters!

I'm pretty sure I can't sew anything other than straight lines. I don't like following directions. I do much better with pictures and copy-catting someone else's work.

Give me some diapers to dye or some recipes to cook or some pictures to frame.

I do so love being a wife and mom. Sometimes I think my husband's job is much more exciting than mine. He gets to eat fine foods, stay at nice hotels, and listen to people give interesting speeches. I mostly eat junk, don't go to bed until I'm about to pass out, and carry on non-sense conversations with my 6-month old while he's gone. But I'm learning to enjoy it more every day.

Someday I think I'll read more, learn to play my piano better, and have a smallish large brood of children who will teach me to be more creative than I am today. Maybe I'm just dreaming... but maybe half or a third of that will come true.


Shauna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shauna said...

I totally understand what you mean by his job being more exciting. I sometimes feel that way with Anthony! He has gone so far in only a few years and I feel kinda pathetic next to him. Not everything goes the way you think it will, but at least I have peace about where we are at :) I love that my first priority is to being a wife, so I'm just going to enjoy it!

kim said...

i'm right there with you on the sewing! my mom and sister could both sew the most gorgeous clothes and i actually got my first C ever in high school home economics (the sewing portion). i was actually gonna make a D but then i got extra credit for wearing to school the horendous purple skirt i made. awful.

i know being a wife and stay at home mommy doesn't seem glamorous but we just have to remember how important it it!

Life with Kaishon said...

What a sweet post. My husband doesn't travel but he does work 7 days a week. It is hard to be by myself when he is gone : ) I mean, kids are so fantastical, but sometimes you just want to talk to a grown up : ) So nice to meet you this morning. I am visiting via a comment you left at Enjoying the Small things.