Friday, September 24, 2010

A New "Normal"

Wow. For weeks I've been planning to start blogging again. Somehow life with a very active one year old and being pregnant seemed to drain me in every way. ;-) I woke up this morning realizing that today begins a different way of life for me. I would give anything to be able to still be pregnant with my sweet baby Margaret but obviously that wasn't God's plan for me.

I am learning about grieving... it's not one of those things you can schedule. I've lost loved ones before, but I never could have imagined how deeply a mother could love a baby even without ever getting to see that baby alive. I'm so glad for the moment I got to hold my baby. She was so delicate and tiny. So tiny!!! It may seem silly but I'm so, so, so grateful for the tiny footprints that the nurse gave me. Anyway, I am glad but Maggie is with Jesus but I must admit I'm more than a bit jealous that He gets to have her first ;-D

So life moves on... we're not going to forget the place that Margaret has in our hearts. But we're also not going to go on moaning and groaning because we have another dear daughter who needs our love and affection :) And Ellie has been a dear!! Today after I found her "reading" books aloud to her baby dolls I just started bawling. I know she didn't understand but she hugged me and kept smiling and saying, "Heeey!! Hey!!" It was too precious!!

So... I am working on some blog ideas. I'll be back when my brain is functioning a bit better ;)

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