Expectantly Waiting

I've hit what I hope is the worst part of the 1st Trimester. I've been so blessed to not feel really, really sick all the time during this pregnancy. But this week has taken a turn. I've been extremely sick. I can't decide if I should say "unfortunately" or "fortunately"... Either way, Ellie doesn't have a clue what's going on. So I am really having to work double-time to keep her busy and safe and entertained and fed while keeping myself rested (hahaha!) and hydrated and all the stuff you have to do to take care of yourself while pregnant. It's been a crazy week and it's only Wednesday morning. Oh dear...

This week I did get to take a peek-a-boo visit with little Piglet Baby. It was adorable. This time I pretty much knew what to expect and I was a bit emotional. Nick was in Boston on business (staying at a bed and breakfast. SUCKER!) so I was solo on this adventure. Piglet Baby was VERY awake. It was pretty amazing considering the fact that I had not caffeine that morning and the only sugar I had was a little black cherry-lime vitamin water (my new favorite flavor!). Heart rate was 175!! Ellie NEVER had a heart rate that high when we visited her during our pregnancy. Her high was like maybe 155. It was usually around 135-140.

Anyway, PB was waving it's little arm like a tiny maniac. Like if I didn't pay close attention I might miss seeing it. I was laying on the bed laughing and literally just burst out, "THAT is adorable!!!!" It was really a very precious encounter. It's kind of ironic too because Ellie is just getting really good at waving a lot.

I've really struggled with being very happy about being pregnant this week. But God knows just when I need a lift. :) GOD IS SO GRACIOUS to His children! Sometimes I think my load would be a lot easier to bear if I would just ask for His help more often :)

This week we will be making our 3rd trip to Sea World since this pregnancy began. I presume I'll be pretty sick but I am going to be sure to stay really hydrated. I am not interested in getting puffy feet like I did last year. :-)

9 1/2 weeks...

I'm EXHAUSTED. Just totally drained....

But our first appointment today was really great. Except for handing over that first payment. OUCH! Oh well. This time our insurance is actually covering a large chunk of our bill. What's really stupid is that they'll cover the cost of all our prenatals and 6 weeks after the birth. BUT they won't cover the actual birth. That is just flat STUPID. If they think the midwives are capable of doing exams, they should cover them taking the baby out. I noticed when signing our papers that one of the midwives has delivered over 2000+ babies in the past 7years. Anyway... I'll got off my soapbox but beware! I'll probably come back to this at some point.

So we had a fantastic exam... and we will be going back on the 21st for a dating ultrasound. Nick won't be here. So we'll have to figure out transportation.

9 months & 9 weeks

Both of my babies are at a "9" milestone.

I cannot believe Teeny Tiny is already 9 weeks along!!! What I can't believe more is that I've been able to keep it a secret this long... well, every week that goes by it slips out a little more. But still, this is really good for me. It definitely helps the pregnancy go by faster!!! We go to the midwife tomorrow for the first time and it should be interesting. I was hoping to have lost more weight before now but this morning sickness hasn't been bad at all. (I say that now at 10AM... last night at 10PM I thought I was going to die. haha! It's definitely worse at night.)

I can't wait to see our Tiny baby and actually see it's little heart beating. It'll be interesting because we're bringing Ellie along. The midwives haven't seen her since she was 6 weeks and it'll be fun to show her off...

Speaking of The Big Sister... We just got home from her 9 month appointment. It was good as far as charting her developmental skills. Of course she rocks in that area. As far as weight gain... well, let's just say she doesn't take after me. The pediatrician kind of raised her eyebrows when she discovered that I was nursing AND pregnant. Ha! Yes, I'm awesome. J/K haha. I was ready to quit nursing until she mentioned formula.... eh. For some reason I have a very hate/hate relationship with that stuff. I'm not sure why. So our lovely pediatrician told me I could just nurse 3x a day as long as Ellie has a cup of yogurt and two slices of cheese included in her daily diet. Which means I need to go to Target. Nice.

Big Sister is NOT a friend of the male nurse at the dr's office. He gave her two shots today and the adorable pink camo bandaid did not make up for the pain she received. Oh well. She's snoozing away her sorrows now. Which means I should do some laundry or something.

What I really want to do: take a nap........ Zzzzzzz

Babies

Ellie is 8 months and 4 weeks now.

I have done the most horrible job at keeping up with her accomplishments and her baby book is mostly empty. That's sad. The very important first few months were filled in... but it's something I just totally forget about now. I fear I haven't been taking snapshots of her much either. Oops.

Anyway... the past few days she's been a JOY to have around. Her top two teeth broke through and that seemed to be what was causing so much fussiness during the day. Ellie's the type of kid who seems to be a happy, jolly, social baby bug around everyone else. It's just when she's home and not feeling well that she gets fussy. And I don't deal too well with fussiness. It's especially frustrating when you have no idea what's wrong.

So I was reading some stuff on blogs and in a parenting magazine, I think, about reasons for not having a 2nd baby right away. It's like, well, we're already there so why read it, right? haha But I think it's interesting that one of the reasons people don't want to have another one right away is because they're afraid the first one won't get the attention they need. I laugh. Ellie is the only child we'll have who will receive this much attention, I think. If anything, I would be worried about children #2, #3, #4, or however many there are. Unless something tragic happened, Ellie is the only child who will ever get to experience being an "only child." I guess we'll have to come back and ask her in ten or twenty years if she felt like we should have given her more "her" time. I think it's silly.

Reasons I can justify not getting pregnant right away: Because it's pretty safe to assume I won't feel well... Hm. I can't think of any other reasons. hahaha. Cost is not really that big of a deal since we got gender neutral things to begin with. We're not the type of family to have "themes" for each child. They can certainly have themed bedrooms once they are old enough to understand what they like. What Ellie likes are lots of books and toys. She likes books about tractors and animals just like a boy would ;) I'm sure we'll be introducing Madeleine and Fancy Nancy pretty soon. But right now she can't even tell the difference between boy things and girl things. I cannot believe how many clothes we've been blessed with since having Ellie. I'm sure God will provide because I have complete assurance that this child was His will and He is not a neglectful Father.

In Sunday school this week we were reminded that God provides! He provides for ALL our needs! But in today's society there are so many things that we think we "need" that we actually don't. Did you know you can live without cable, smart phones, and new cars? It's possible!!! haha. We're proof! And in reality, I would venture to guess that we're a lot happier without those things because we don't have to worry about paying for them ;-) Our entertainment consists of long outdoor walks as a family and playing together.

I have no doubt that God's going to prove over and over again that He is Jehovah-Jireh, our Provider.

So as far as this pregnancy goes... I am feeling a lot better than I have! I felt sick all night last night. But it felt like a bug... not so much like morning sickness. I don't know/sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. But I've definitely felt more energetic. I think Ellie has a lot to do with that. With my pregnancy with her I had the luxury of not having to keep up with nearly as much. Now I have no choice. haha. I like it better this way actually. It makes the days go by so much faster!

What comes after Christmas but before Valentine's Day?

A baby! A baby is coming our way!

So this blog post will be in draft mode for as long as Nick and I can keep this a secret... we have no idea how long that will be. Maybe July??

I'm sure there will be people wondering so I'm just going to clarify that, No, this was not an accidental pregnancy. Have we lost our minds by purposefully having kids less than 18 months apart? Probably. But we talked about it a LOT and it's just what we felt was right for our family. Do not necessarily expect us to repeat this scenario every year and a half though. I have no idea how well I'll handle two under two just yet.

So currently I'm like, 4 weeks and 3 days - I think. Funny, I think this pregnancy (at least the first tri) will go by faster than my pregnancy with Ellie. It's only been a couple days since we found out and I'm already worn out. ;-) Breastfeeding + Being.Pregnant + Not.Taking.Vitamins = Very tired and unhealthy feeling mama. I don't know what happened to my prenatal vitamins. Somehow they got lost in the move. However, I did buy some last night. I did find myself dry heaving after taking them. Thankfully they did not come up ;-p

Actually, speaking of feeling sickly, I started feeling extremely tired/nauseated around 2 1/2 weeks. (that's like a couple of days past conception) Very uncool. I woke up in the middle of the night around 3 weeks feeling like I'd eaten something bad. Threw up a lot. Ugh. And I went back to bed. I didn't get a positive pg test for a week but I'm sure it was morning sickness. I'm not one to randomly throw up in the middle of the night ;-)

As I expected, my feeling nauseated has to be put aside at least somewhat because I have an 8 month old who needs me almost every hour of the day. Also, it's not like I can complain to anyone other than Nicholas about it because nobody knows. haha.

We are planning another birth at the Austin Area Birthing Center. This time, Lord-willing, we'll be in SOUTH AUSTIN at the new facility!!! It opens in August. Just before Ellie's birthday in September we should be having an ultrasound... and, Nope, we're not planning on finding out the sex. We both feel very strongly that it's a boy. We had Ellie's name picked out before I was pregnant yet we never did settle on a boy's name. This time Nick picked out a boy's name before we knew I was pregnant and he's declared that we're not going to pick out a girl's name because, duh!, it's not a girl. ;-) so we'll see. If it is a girl I guess she will be nameless for a while. haha

Okay... that's all for now. I'll probably come back and add some more secret posts that will all be unlocked once we have let the cat out of the bag. Until then, I think I need to clean up the kitchen. (I'd rather nap but Ellie's napping and it's easier to get things done when she's asleep. Imagine that.)

Not what I expected...

You know how when you're little you're always dreaming... dreaming of becoming older and being a mommy... For me, it was dreaming of being older and rescuing orphans. I was always wanting to play like I was an orphan running away from a horrible orphanage - or better yet, prison camp. I had a happy family and a happy life so I have no idea why I was always dreaming of "escaping", but I was.

As I got older my dreams got a little bigger. I would travel the world and rescue orphans. Ironically, that sort of ended up happening. Well, I didn't "rescue" them exactly. But I did end up living in a 3rd world country for almost 5 months working with orphan teenage girls. It was a pretty sweet deal all around. I got to encourage them to grow in their faith and ended up growing as a person in ways I could have never expected. I ended up getting a pretty sweet guy out of the deal too. ;-* Lucky me.

So the guy and I got married with the intent of growing a massive family. Ended up that we aren't ravid breeders like people expected. Ha. We liked that - being something other than what was expected. One day we did end up finding out that we could procreate and now we have Ellie whom we love a LOT.

And now my husband travels around the United States while I stay home and figure out once again who I am. I'm glad that he doesn't travel more than he does. We're at a very happy place. His being gone a couple days of the week is good for both of us. It allows us to appreciate being together on a deeper level than we once experienced. And I am somewhat forced to come up with creative ways to make the time pass quicker.

I feel like my creative juices are just beginning to come alive and it's been interesting.

I'm pretty sure I'm not a seamstress. I haven't completely given up, but I am pretty disappointed. I come from a family of fabulous seamstresses. My aunts can all make the most beautiful things out of cloth in a matter of no time at all.
My maternal grandmother, the one for whom Ellie is named, was the one who orginally tried to teach me to sew. I'm not sure that she sewed a lot, but she did sew some. She made all of her children baby quilts which we've cherished. She was working on one last baby quilt when her Alzheimers began. It was nearly finished but got set aside and forgotten. After she died my mom got to take it and once she's finished it will be Ellie's. I like that a lot.

My dad's mother is just crazy about sewing. I think the woman could make anything. Every time I think of her house I imagine quilts everywhere. That's probably because there are quilts everywhere. I actually have three from her in my home. They're lovely. My aunts, Janice and Jennifer, are much more articulate seamstresses, I think. I'm pretty sure they follow instructions better than Grandma. And Janice's daughter, Jessalyn, has made the most beautiful clothing for her two daughters!

I'm pretty sure I can't sew anything other than straight lines. I don't like following directions. I do much better with pictures and copy-catting someone else's work.

Give me some diapers to dye or some recipes to cook or some pictures to frame.

I do so love being a wife and mom. Sometimes I think my husband's job is much more exciting than mine. He gets to eat fine foods, stay at nice hotels, and listen to people give interesting speeches. I mostly eat junk, don't go to bed until I'm about to pass out, and carry on non-sense conversations with my 6-month old while he's gone. But I'm learning to enjoy it more every day.

Someday I think I'll read more, learn to play my piano better, and have a smallish large brood of children who will teach me to be more creative than I am today. Maybe I'm just dreaming... but maybe half or a third of that will come true.

The One Where He Goes to Florida While I Stay Home and Dye Diapers

By the time anyone is reading this he will be home. Because I'm not really a fan of displaying for the general public that my husband is not home ;) [as if the general public reads this, lol, but whatever...]

It's 8:28AM. I heard loud banging outside. Our apartment building is getting a makeover. :) I wish they'd give the inside of our apartment a makeover. I'd like some turquoise paint in here, please. And maybe a chandelier or two.

So, yes, Nick is out of town. I always forget what him being gone feels like until he actually leaves. We both really do love his job a lot so I try not to complain too much. He's mellowed out a LOT in the past couple of months. He said it's because he gets a little stressed every time he goes out to a new job. Once the job's complete, what's there to worry or stress about? < that's what he told me yesterday on our way to the third craft supply store on a hunt for Dylon Fabric Dye. This was after we had to drive to two elementary schools during rush hour traffic to vote. He was my hero! He even bought me a bag of jordan almonds and LEFT THEM HOME before he flew out this morning. Um, that's love!

Back home on the ranch, baby girl is snoozing. She loves sleeping. haha. I do too, but not when Nick's gone. And actually, I get so excited about the littlest things lately so I'm not really much of a sleeper anymore. I guess Ellie's making up for the lack of sleep I got last night.

I'm dying some diapers. I'm excited to see how it turns out. By the time I post this I'll have them all done and can post pictures. YAY! ;-)

Lately I've been thinking a lot about where I am in life. I LOVE this stage of parenthood. Ellie's juuuust starting to get into everything within reach. She's "crawling" but discovering more than moving around. I did find her sucking on the wheel of her stroller yesterday. If you knew where all we go with that stroller you would realize how disgusting that is! UGH! It makes me shiver.

Nick loves his job and is getting paid more than enough to keep food on the table. I am finding ways to get my creative juices flowing. I feel healthy. I don't take that for granted too much anymore having had 8 months (the first month doesn't count since I didn't even know I was pregnant) of all-day nausea. While another little bundle would certainly seem fun to add to the mix, I think I'll enjoy today being healthy ;-)

Target and Garden Ridge are Ellie's and my hangout places now. We can walk to either place in ten minutes which is pretty cool. If Nick throws me a little cash every now and then I stay happy and so does he ;)

I feel like my brain has somewhat turned "off" in the last months. I can read blogs and forums online but find myself skipping around as I read... not staying on one track for very long at all. My Bible reading is like only effective if I read a few verses and journal. Otherwise I can't remember an hour later what on earth I read.

I've been reading aloud to Ellie out of a great kids Bible I picked up new at Goodwill. It's great. We started sometime around a month ago and we're already in Exodus. I'm sure she's getting a lot out of it. Heh. Most of the time I'm just trying to keep her from eating the pages. But I'm hoping in time she will learn to sit still and listen to me read like I used to do with my mom.

Well, Nick's probably not even off his first flight and it's about time to do something with these diapers. I might let them sit a while longer so I can grab some much needed quiet time.

Day 2 of him being gone to FL.

So I decided to run to Target. Elle was having a bad day. Can't figure out if it's teething or a cold or both. So we headed to Target and enjoyed the gorgeous 66* weather. I love Austin ;-)

I became instantly enthralled over household cleansers. That was actually my real reason for going to Target. They had some coupons on Lysol products so I loaded up. Normally my husband's not a fan of me spending money while he's gone. But I figured it's for his benefit so he won't mind. Besides, I know he got breakfast delivered to his room at a nice hotel this morning. Justification, justification... :)

I loaded up my stroller with several Lysol products and some glade candles. (LOVE glade candles!!) When getting ready to check out I discovered that I was missing my credit card. AHHHHK! I apologized to the cashier who was already ringing up my purchases. She was like, "Oh, I sell you a card?" It took me a minute to figure out what she was talking about. I reluctantly agreed to sign up for a Target credit card - like that is gonna make Nick not so happy. Lol! It was a small purchase though, so I don't think he'll mind.

So I proceed to fill out the information needed to procure the Target card. Meanwhile two older women are talking to each other in line waiting for me... I was trying to hurry because I hate people having to wait for me and at any moment I knew Ellie could realize that she hadn't eaten in a few hours. So I'm rushing and giving the cashier info while putting my purchases into the buggy. I was finished and then she needed to see my driver's license one more time. I had put it back in my purse, or so I thought. Ugh! I couldn't find it anywhere. I was digging through everything, she was looking through my wallet (lol!) and the women behind me were trying to comfort me, "Oh, honey, take your time! It's okay, we're not in a hurry." I was apologizing profusely and telling them I was having a really bad case of mommy brain. The one said to the other in a loud whisper, "Aw, look, she's blushing so bad!" (that of course made me feel oh so much better. not! hahaha) I finally found it - in my wallet. Oh dear.

And that was my adventure for today.

Came home, fed Ellie and put her down for a nap, made some brownies (added two jars of baby food to make it somewhat healthier - apples & blueberries and a jar of carrots - not bad, actually), and started cleaning. Called my sister to discuss what fluffiness we will purchase for our unborn niece or nephew and continued to clean.

Right now my living room, well my whole house actually, looks like a disaster zone. Hubby will be home SOON so I better get back at it.